How about a serious and thoughtful analysis rather than just slinging jokes and denigrating normal parts of women’s health and lifecycles?

I’m sure you feel cute, but you can make your point without comments like this:
“undergo the diaper-to-tampon transformation.”
“I hope they don’t suffer from rheumatism or menopause in the process.”

Do you really think you’ll be able to get a professional journalism job with lines like this on your resume?